Are men or women more likely to cheat? While men have always had a worse reputation for being the unfaithful sex, but recently women are catching up fast – but we are a lot more likely to lie about it, and a lot less likely to get caught.
Simply put, it seems that women are better at having affairs than men.
The news that Farrah Fawcett had a secret affair for 11 years without telling a soul is a classic example of the way a woman cheats: discreetly, in secret, and while carrying on with the rest of her life as normal. courtesy of televison show Desperate Housewives
Base on personal and others experiences, women are having more affairs than ever – around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women – but they behave very differently from men when they cheat.
The biggest difference is that women are much better at keeping their affairs secret,’ Dr Holmes a Pyschologist at the Metropolitan University says in an article. He continues by saying ‘If you look at the studies into paternity, even conservative figures show that between eight and 15 per cent of children haven’t been fathered by the man who thinks he’s the biological parent.
Women general are very descreet about their sex life hence keep a lot of secrets. a woman can be married for 11years and has a 5yrs old affair with either same person or multiple partners. unfortunately most of the women who cheat in relationships are the career women who share equal time between work and home hence can easily spend time with a colleague without being caught. The major causes of this being Jobs outside the home – with the ready-made excuse of working late or business travel – financial independence and changing social attitudes mean that modern women simply have more opportunity to meet other men and start affairs.
Mobile phones, internet chat rooms and email also make it easier to fuel intimate encounters.
Does she feel guilty about the affair?
Not so long as he doesn’t find out. You know the 11th commandment: don’t get caught.
Women have always had affairs, but over the past 20 years that number has risen dramatically. But while women’s lives and sexual behaviour might have changed, their willingness to be honest about it hasn’t.
We lie so much that often we don’t even think of it as lying at all, but as ‘relationship management’
The truth is that we have always lied about our sex lives. based on personal experiences men consistently claim to have had more partners than women -an average of 13, while most african women claim to have had only about 4 or 5 which is extremely exaggerated in most cases.
Plainly, someone is lying here. While men might exaggerate their sexual conquests, the bigger liars are women.
Why do women lie? Because we must, and because we can. In spite of apparent equality and a more sexually open society, we are still more harshly judged for our sex lives than men.
Behind closed doors: Working women have more opportunities to have affair. Imagine the reaction to a female CEO having a public affair with her young male assistant?
There is something particularly humiliating for a man about being made a cuckold. So we lie to protect ourselves from the judgments of others, and because sexual ‘reputation’ still matters more to women, whether we like it or not.
But we also lie naturally and instinctively, as a way to manage and control our relationships, to protect our partners and our families, and to keep our options open.
Women are taught to lie from childhood. Those simple, altruistic lies such as saying we’ve had a lovely time when we haven’t, that someone looks nice when she doesn’t, or that we’re delighted with a gift we don’t really like, are just some of the small ways that lying oils the wheels of our social lives, keeps the peace, and makes other people happy
Many women also develop a habit of secrecy about smaller issues in their relationship as a way of maintaining some kind of control.
It’s common, for example, for women to lie to their partners about how much money they have spent – even when they don’t need to.
I don’t have a secret account, but I’m not completely honest about how much money I spend. If he doesn’t know, he doesn’t miss it.’
‘My mother always used to say that you should never tell a man everything,‘ says an elderly female friend’and I thought it was rubbish. I believed in total honesty.
‘But now I agree with her. Why explain yourself over every little thing? Why have a huge row over something he needn’t even know about? I never tell him about my girlfriends’ secrets, because he’d be judgmental and disapproving.
Women are better liars because they’re more psychologically sophisticated
Harmless? Maybe. But it’s easy to see how the act of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones.
‘Emotionally, women make plans and have strategies, while men are more impulsive.’
From a young age, women will start to consider the kind of life they want, what kind of job or house they aspire to, how many children they’d like and what kind of partner.
Most men don’t really develop that facility until they’re much older. They live, psychologically, in the moment, while women think around corners and two steps ahead.
Hillary stood by Bill Clinton when he had an affair, if it had been the other way around, would he have done the same?
We’re also better at mental multi-tasking. ‘
You can keep all the different strands of a lie in your minds, remember them and make them convincing.’
Men lie, too, but they are much more likely to forget something, or make a mistake and get caught out.
Women, on the other hand, are much more cool and rational, even when they’re in the grip of passion.
Cheating is never pretty, but lying about it doesn’t necessarily make it worse. Often, our lies are meant to shield our partners and families from pain. We tell ourselves that if nobody knows, nobody gets hurt.
Often, women keep the secret because they’re much more conscious of how much there is to lose, and to protect the other people involved. If she has children, she’ll be especially careful that they aren’t hurt in any way by the knowledge of what she’s doing.’
If you asked unfaithful men if they think their wives or girlfriends have had affairs, too, they will be shocked at the very thought.
I personally think all cheating is bogus, regardless of the reasoning.
Ultimately it breaks a trust that will either cost you love, trust, integrity, or all three. And I am yet to hear a situation where it has been worth it. But for the sake of conversation, who do you think cheats more between men and women? And who do you think is better at it?